What now?

i don’t drink. i’ve only ever had a taste of a sea-breeze once, and that was only cause i didn’t know their was anything in it other than cranberry juice. but i dunno. lately, i’ve been thinking that maybe i could. i’d have to start out slowly of course. i’ve never been interested cause i’ve always been exposed to the bad shit that happens due to  drinking. not to mention that i have like 2 alcoholics in my family, and thats the last thing i need to be. but then i go to a party and see all these girls who have had like one beer, and act like complete idiots. they either become whorish, stupid, or just annoying. you know the type, everyone is looking at you, like “why can’t she control herself, and shut up?” and your just sitting their thinking “yea man, i’m the shit!” then you see the pictures from that night and notice that you can totally see up your skirt, your make-up is smeared, you’re all sweaty, and o shit! you’re doctor just said you’ve got syphilis and you can’t even remember that guys name…

i don’t know. i guess drinking isn’t all that bad. i just…i think i’m going through a rebellious stage. not that if you drink you are automatically a bad person, etc. etc. maybe i’ll just start out slowly, drinking at my house and see how it goes from their. i just don’t want to lose my inhibitions. i know thats part of the attraction, but i hate the thought of losing control. i’m anal. what can i say?

i did like the sea-breeze. but i’ve always loved the smell of whiskey, and just sorta figured i’d be a whiskey-girl. one of my friends said that it would kick my ass though. o well. o! and i think i’d like b52s and irish coffees.

i already know now that beer isn’t for me though. i hate the smell. it makes me sick to my stomach. although i did grow to love the taste of **** after he’d been drinking and then smoked. but that was probably just him and not the alcohol.